Amazing Grace

Amazing grace how sweet the sound... I love that song for so many reasons but the word I love best is GRACE! I have to say that the Lord has been so gracious to me...He has given me the grace to endure pain but not be crushed by it. He has renewed my strength and retored my joy, for the first time in a long time I feel free. I feel as if for 2 years i have carried so much pain and allowed the enemy to rob me of an abundant life that Jesus came to give, John 10:10. This trial that we have been going through is not over, but I know that Andrew and I are already victorious in Christ. I am amazed at how He uses us more me at times, but am overwhelmed with thankfulness that He wants me to partner in reaching others for the Kingdom. I am not gonna lie, there are so many things that we are up against that seem so impossible, but I'm standing on the promises of God and his faithfulness. There are still days my heart just aches for a baby, but it is in those times that it drives me to converse with my heavenly Father. He always reminds me that He has not forgotten me and that He is in the process of something so extraordinary, way beyond my comprehension. What an awesome God I serve, He is so loving and gracious. The other day I was posed the question "If the Lord never gave you a baby, would you still serve and love Me?" I knew that was the Lord cause I would never ask myself that:) I thought a minute and said "Yes Lord I would, it may be hard at times but I would have to trust that You know what You are doing." I am reminded of the conversation Jesus had with his disciples and Him posing the same question to them and them answering "Yes Lord where could we go, only You have the words of eternal life." That was and aha moment for them, but I see it as Jesus just asking them if He did nothing but save them from sin would they still love Him or would they not cause they weren't getting all the stuff they wanted. So I can say I had my aha moment as well, but I like the disciples am so sold out and totally in love with Jesus that there is no where else I would rather be. I know and stand in victory already that we will have children, there is no doubt in my mind!!
Jesus I love you so much... Thank you for your grace! The thing I am most thankful for is that you not only chasten the ones You love but chase them. Thank you for chasing me when my heart fought against you, thank you for being my good shepherd and being willing to go after me no matter the cost. Forgive me for the time I have wasted worrying and doubting You, please redeem my time and continue to use me. Lord You are so wonderful I cannot even describe it! You amaze me more every day!